Fag Hag Duties
- Never look better than your gay.
- Always ask for opinions on clothing choices.
- If you're redecorating your apartment, you better ask him to help.
- Give rude faces whenever someone insults him.
- Confer with gay before deciding to accept drinks from strangers at a gay bar.
- Never leave the house without asking if anyone wants wine.
- Watch Will and Grace episodes until exhausted.
- Always use the word bitch as a compliment.
- Never touch the hair.
- Always accessorize.
- Don't be surprised when he's late.
- Always defend his honor.
- Never say he isn't available.
- Don't ask him to eat.
- Hold his purse.
- Compliment appearance every few hours.
- Always claim not to know if he's a virgin.
- Pretend you're not scared of drag queens.
- Always say their ass looks good in those jeans.
- Wear what he buys you.
- If you don't like his boyfriend, fake it.
- Never hit on the person he's hitting on.
- Leave a tip.
- Don't dance unless he asks you to.